Ego Desire Or Self Realization?

“Begin with the end in mind.” “Create the life you desire.”  “If you believe it you will see it.” These popular new age aphorisms are, indeed, powerful. Popularized by new age films “What the Bleep Do We Know” and “The Secret” it seems many have tried applying these principles or, at the very least, have heard about them.  These “new age” concepts applied to create modern day conveniences, situations and material gain are best utilized in partnership with yoga yamas  and niyamas (ethical and personal observances).

For instance if you are focused on manifesting a specific job, relationship or lifestyle, check the origin of your desire, see if it is aligned with the ethical foundations of yoga. Or notice if it is simply the ego striving for attention or accomplishment. The great Indian saint, AMMA, tells a story where two men are sitting at a bus stop.  The first man is holding his head in his hands crying, while the second man is banging his hands against his head.  The passerby asks the first man why he is crying.  He says, “Lily, my dear sweet Lily, I have lost her. She has left me for another man.”  How horrible the passerby thinks. Next, the passerby asks the second man why he is distraught.  He says “Lily, Lily, Lily, I have married a woman who drives me crazy.” At first the passerby is confused.  And then, as he has walked away, begins to laugh.  The two men are crying over the same woman.  The irony shows us that often times the things we think we want are the same things, which will also cause us to go “mad”. When the ego is leading our lives we may find ourselves in this situation often. This story is the inspiration to focus us to go beyond the desires of the material plane and go deeper into focus of realizing the Self. The Self who needs nothing yet has everything. It is not seeking its happiness through something outside itself.

How do we begin to make this shift in our modern day lives?  How do we shift from ego driven manifestation to authentic Self-Realization?  How do we become aware of the ego, too often in charge, and relegate it to its proper place? How do we invite the Self into a place of leadership and have the courage to trust the Self to guide us?  Going back to the place we once began – begin with the end in mind. However, now when you begin with the end in mind, rather than seeing a specific person, place or situation you desire to manifest feel yourself manifesting the ability to surrender to the wisdom of the Higher Self.  Typical yoga asana classes close practice with the posture called Savasanna, translated to mean corpse.  The translation is not referring to the actual aftermath of the human body once the spirit has left.  But, rather referencing the active process of dying to that, which does not serve our highest good. It is the ability to step through the doorway of limitation towards liberation by literally dying to that which does not serve us. Alan Jones, noted for his work with death and dying, eloquently shares “In my tradition we try to practice dying ever day so we may be fully alive.  What I understand of my prayer life is to place myself on the threshold of death to participate in my dying so that I may live each day and each moment as a gift – what I cultivate is a grateful heart, each moment then becomes a new thing my gratitude comes from the sheer gift of life itself.  Who you are cannot be limited to what’s happening to you just now.  You are part of a love story, you are desired, and longed for, there are thousands of witness’s before you that claim you are held in the arms of love.”  Apply these words to your daily practice of manifestation.  You are loved. You already belong. You are infinite. If you already knew this to be true would you still want the things you want?

Begin with self-reflection.  Start simple. The things, which you would most like to manifest, ask yourself – are they aligned with yoga principles?  Notice times in the past when you have received things you have wished for have you maintained your original level of enthusiasm once you have obtained them, or have you simply begun to desire the next thing?  Once you have obtained your desire did you feel happier or more content?  Begin to practice being grateful for what you have, even if it feels like your pretending in the beginning.  Imagine just what you have is what you want.  This is the practice that cultivates the grateful heart. Dying to the need that some thing in the future will bring happiness.  Feeling the present moment is exactly as it is meant to be. Often times death may look like a recommitment to your life–to living and choosing what is essential for ever-increasing experiences of appreciation and joy. Start here. 

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Learn About Pranayama

Dr. Andrew Weil once said, “If I had to limit my advice on healthier living to just one tip, it would be simply to learn how to breathe correctly.”  Why is oxygen so vital? Often times the importance of something is more clearly defined in it’s absence. Though we can do without food for weeks and possibly water for days, without adequate oxygen supply, we will die within in a few minutes. We can see this in acute cases such as a heart attack or a stroke. The blockage of oxygen delivery causes, many times, irreversible damage.  So what is happening in our bodies daily when we are breathing quickly and shallowly?  While the result is not as extreme as a heart attack or a stroke there are still a significant series of “little deaths” occurring in the body.  We may experience these as feelings of mental sluggishness, lack of energy, decreased creativity and heightened states of negativity.  It is no wonder that the practice of yoga, steeped in ancient tradition, dedicates a whole limb to teach individuals how to breathe. The yoga practice broadly accepts and directs it’s practitioners to focus on breath control.  The entire 4th limb of yoga, called Pranayama, is dedicated to managing, directing and controlling breath.

Pranayama is the combination of observing and controlling the breath to create a desired response in the body.  Prana – refers to a life force energy and exists in all living matter. Yama – is the active process of observation. Have you ever noticed when you are standing next to the ocean how the air feels alive.  Or the elated feeling you receive from being near a friend or family member you love. Breathing in and out we draw in energy particles as well as oxygen. Vinyasa yoga is based upon the premise that moving the body in conjunction with the breath causes a deeper merging of the energy bodies and the physical body. Literally, a marriage of physiology and pranic exchange occurs with intentful body and breath alignment.  

Pranayama includes four parts:  1. Inhale 2. Exhale 3. Space at the top of the inhale 4. Space at the bottom of the exhale. In regular daily breathing patterns we, typically, do not focus on the space between the inhale and exhale, which are the key parts which distinguish a Pranayama practice from regular daily breathing.

One of the best ways to breathe, to cause long term health, is to breathe “baby normal”,  originating the breath from the bottom of the belly. Many times, due to habit, we breathe from our chest and miss the opportunity to provide adequate oxygen supply to the rest of the body because of our shallow breathing.  Try this now. Place your hands on your belly. As you inhale let your belly expand like a balloon. At the top of your inhale and the beginning of your exhale let the belly begin to deflate. As the belly deflates actively pull the navel towards the back side of the spine. Do this ten times with the hands on the belly. After you have completed your tenth time remove your hands and now focus on steadying the breath so the length of the inhale matches the exhale. It has been said that the mind follows on the coat tails of the breath. Steady breath equals a steady mind. Practice is the true teacher. Let your own experience guide you. I recommend starting a breathing practice with the initial aim to breathe from the belly and then focus on aligning the breathe to an even pace. Start this exercise, practicing 5 minutes a day- working up to 15 minutes a day.  Listed below are more detailed exercises.

Breathing Practice:
The 3:3:3-(or Relaxing Breath) Exercise
This exercise is utterly simple, takes almost no time, requires no equipment and can be done anywhere. Although you can do the exercise in any position, sit with your back straight while learning the exercise. You will be inhaling and exhaling through your nose.

• Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of three.
• Hold your breath for a count of three.
• Exhale completely through nose for count of three.
• Repeat cycle

This exercise is a natural sedative for the nervous system. Though the exercise is subtle and will not hit you like a sedative, it gains in power with repetition and practice. Practice two times a day for five minutes.  Create a daily habit with this practice.

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