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The Magic Of DOING What You Are Doing! (2)
April 25, 2009 by Kate Mathers · 1 Comment
By Kate Mathers www.magicofallowing.com
Some more ‘spot meditations’, this time oriented to those that may be as relevant for men as for women. ‘Spot’ or ‘Mini-Mindfulness’ Meditations work to defuse tension on the spot by bringing you right into the present. Note that they all involve tuning in to the world of the senses and allowing yourself to really notice what you are doing while you are doing it!
Tuning in to the present moment this way can rejuvenate soul, mind and body in seconds. The power of the present moment cannot be overestimated.
TRY: doing a mini-mindfulness or spot meditation when you clean your teeth each morning: mindfully note how your arm and hand reaches for your toothbrush, how the brush feels in your hand, the texture and shape and colour of it; and do the same with the toothpaste tube and its contents; observe the colours and design on the tube, the way it yields its contents as you squeeze the paste out of the tube, and the minty aroma; notice the sensation of the brush and the paste once in your mouth; is there a zinging sensation? Enjoy it. Check to make sure you are not already holding unnecessary tension in
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The Magic Of DOING What You Are Doing!
March 2, 2009 by Kate Mathers · Leave a Comment
By Kate Mathers www.magicofallowing.com
More on the freedom and joy of being in the present moment – Spot Meditations: Doing What You Are Doing!
As part of the Mindfulness Meditation courses that I teach, I show participants how to incorporate ‘Spot Meditations’ as part of their daily routine. These involve taking some simple activity and making a meditation out of it. You can ‘spot’ the opportunity at any point during your day, no matter how busy. And literally anything can become a beautiful exampleof mindfulness – of living with awareness – in the present moment. This is the magic of DOING what you are doing!
The benefits? Tension diffuses on the spot. Your mind slows down. You bring all five senses to bear on what you are actually doing. And if your mind wanders off, just bring your focus and your senses – sight, touch, sound, smell, taste – back to whatever you are actually doing, and really BE THERE for WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU ARE DOING at that time! Most of the time we are either living in the past and thinking or worrying about something that we have or haven’t done, or we are away in the future thinking or worrying about some event that may or may not happen….. so try nourishing yourself daily (hourly if you like) with gifts of the present moment. Notice how liberating it feels. The scary thing is discovering how little of our time we actually spend in the present moment!
The transformative effect of this simple bringing of attention to the present moment is profound. In addition
to the diffusion of tension in our body and mind, we feel relief and joy and a sense of freedom when we bring our entire focus, our entire attention - including all our senses - to the present moment. This can be especially powerful when it concerns some routine activity that we usually carry out automatically, like cleaning our teeth, washing up, feeding the dog, answering the telephone, driving in traffic, eating a meal, preparing a meal, going for a walk, ironing, standing in a queue at the bank, gardening, walking up stairs……
You can use your senses to tune in at any given point during your day as to how you are sitting in your chair at your desk, how you are holding your pen, how you are using your computer keyboard, how you get up from your chair… and so on. Are you hunched over the desk? Are your fingers tense from gripping your pen too tightly? Are your wrists aching from bad positioning at your computer keyboard? Could you do what you are doing more effectively, expending less energy, if you were fully present?
As you can see, the range of possibilities is limitless!
Spot Meditations: Doing What You Are Doing!
Very broadly speaking, the following suggestions for spot meditations are biased towards those that might be more relevant for women in daily life. The next article will have suggestions oriented towards men. (Though, of course, all overlap.)
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For example, you can ’spot’ meditate by consciously doing a simple activity such as hanging out the washing. Mindfully hanging out the washing means using your body with respect – balancing your stretching and bending movements equally left and right, enjoying the fresh clean smell of washed clothes, being grateful that you have two arms that can reach upwards, that you have a machine to do the washing; sensing the energy of the trees and plants around you, the sky above you, feeling the earth beneath your feet and the sun’s warmth on your back; it’s the difference between resenting the whole task as a chore and exploring it in mindfulness, moment by moment, and returning to the house enriched and balanced by the experience. If you use a dryer instead, incorporate the same sort of ideas in mindfully moving through the drying/folding process in a similar manner. See how many things you can identify to keep you in the present moment throughout the task. You can carry the same sort of ideas through to doing the ironing. With all of these, you can discover for yourself the magic of Doing What You are Doing!
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You can do a ‘spot’ meditation when you prepare fruit. BE THERE for the task. Really Do What you are Doing! This can involve noticing the way in which you hold, say, a mango, in between your hands, and feeling the shape, and then the texture and smoothness of the skin; being aware of the sensation of the knife as it pares into the flesh; the soft, yielding texture of the flesh as you cut into it, smelling the fruity aroma floating upwards; seeing and experiencing the orange energy of the colour; feeling the taste and texture once in your mouth;being grateful to all the people who have worked to bring that mango to your plate; being grateful that you have a mango to eat; it’s all about being fully in the moment as you prepare the fruit. The preparation and eating are themselves the meditation, when you are doing what you are doing!
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You can even make a spot meditation out of washing up. Make a point of actually being there as you wash the pots and pans, noticing the colours of the dishes or the gleam of the pan; aware of the texture of the food sticking to it, and the heat of the water; taking in the sound of the tap running, the smell of the dishwashing liquid, the texture of the bubbles;being grateful that you have food to cook; appreciating the fact that you have two working arms and two strong legs that enable you to carry out the task of washing up; it’s all about being fully in the present rather than somewhere in the future or the past. You’ll be amazed at how rewarding it is, at the reduction in tension, and the feeling of relaxation and peace. This is the magic of doing what you are doing – even when it is the washing up.
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Meditations like this can literally be just a few seconds long. For example, it’s raining while you’re wai
ting in car line
to pick up your child after school. Try focusing on the raindrops running down the windscreen. You could choose to focus on one raindrop only, and then on the next, and the next…….; or you could make the entire windscreen of raindrops your focus; whenever your mind wanders off, just come back to the focus of watching the raindrops running down the windscreen….. what they look like……. what they might feel like ……… be aware of any sound they make ………… imagine how the rain might smell ……..by the time your child is ready to get into the car, you will feel soothed and rejuvenated and refreshed. As opposed to irritated that you have had to wait,and resentful about the things you could have been doing instead. The Magic of Doing What you are Doing!The beauty of these ‘spot meditations’ is that we cannot help but Do What We Are Doing! This simple act brings us straight back into the present moment, where true peace, freedom and happiness lie. After all, the past is gone, and the future hasn’t arrived. All we actually have, at any given time, is the present.
email: kate@magicofallowing.com
“Living Liberation - Meditation Training, and so much more" "It changed my life"Find out moreThe Magic Of The Present Moment
March 1, 2009 by Kate Mathers · Leave a Comment
March 8, 2009 By Kate Mathers www.magicofallowing.com
Many of us run through much of our day without much focus on the present moment. In fact, we’re far more likely to be in the past or the future – often either beating ourselves up for what we haven’t done or achieved, or else worrying and stressing about what might be about to occur – and we miss the beauty and powerof the present moment entirely. Yet the restorative power of being in the present moment – even if only a few times a day – is truly magical.
Much is written about the power of tuning in to our breath, as it is a very convenient process to support awareness in our day-to-day life. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says in his book Full Catastrophe Living “As long as we are alive, it is always with us. We can’t leave home without it. It is always here to be attended to, no matter what we are doing or feeling or experiencing, no matter where we are. Tuning in to it brings us right into the here and now. It immediately anchors awareness in the body – in a fundamental, rhythmic, flowing life process.” The effect of just two or three conscious outbreaths can be remarkable. It’s often all we need to defuse tension, lower the metabolic rate a few notches and shift into a healthier state.
However, rather than trying to add more to a subject that is already well covered, I thought it would be interesting to talk about other ways of how we can tune in to being in the present moment, at any point during the course of our day – no matter what it is that we are doing. And reap the benefits of that restorative, re-grouping, powerful, centering energy that the present moment, and only the present moment, can provide. For example, try really being with yourself, mindfully, moment by moment, while having a shower first thing in the morning. This is how it might go……
Taking a Shower Mindfully
TRY: being aware of the way you step into the shower, what the floor feels like beneath your feet, how your arms and hands reach out to turn on the taps, the sound of the water flowing, the feel of the water as it flows over your body – each part of it, from the head right down the toes… be with the feelings of the water on your body, focusing on each body part in turn. Be aware of the smell of the water – can you smell chlorine, perhaps?… feel the sensations of the water on your eyes, your lips, on your face –the pressure, the pace…..be aware of allowing your feet to be fully grounded on the floor, letting the floor take your full weight………being fully ‘in your ribs’ will help you become completely grounded, so just put your attention in your ribs for a while, and feel how the body relaxes down, from head to chest, and from chest to feet, into the floor……….. be aware of the sensations of the soap in your hands and on your body, how it mixes with the water, what it feels when the soap is being rinsed off…..be aware of the movements you are making with your arms and hands, and your body in general, as you are washing yourself………be with your arms and hands as they reach out for the shampoo bottle, as you place the shampoo on your hair, as you massage it into your head….note the different movements, and what they feel like………and continue to pay attention in this way, right until you have finished the shower, and have mindfully turned off the taps and mindfully stepped out onto the bath mat…………and
TRY: seeing how long you can remain fully awake and conscious to each moment as you start to dry yourself and get dressed………
As the day moves along, there are limitless moments to tune in to, that can bring us back into the restorative space of mindfulness, return us to the magic of the being space – as opposed to the ‘doing’ – of the present moment. Life lived that way is all about the magic of allowing that to occur; minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, year by year ………
To finish, what better than a quotation from Jon Kabat-Zinn, that master of mindfulness and the present moment:
“The momentum of unbridled doing can carry us for decades, even to the grave,
without our quite knowing that we are living out our lives and that we have only moments to live.”
From The Full Catastrophe, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
email: kate@magicofallowing.com
“Living Liberation - Meditation Training, and so much more" "It changed my life"Find out more
Conscious Parenting – It Doesn’t Stop
November 2, 2008 by Kate Mathers · 4 Comments
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you they belong not to you.”
There are a couple of aspects of the vast subject of conscious parenting that I want to touch on here: the first is the importance of remembering that our children are not us, and that they are here to fulfil their own life’s purpose, and come to their own preferences, and to activate their own guidance systems. Now that might sound obvious, and not any particular parental challenge ….. and while they are young and we are in almost full ‘care-giver and care-taker’ mode, it usually isn’t.
However, it has been my experience as my children have grown older and become young adults, that by mid-late teens and beyond, this is something I have needed to remind myself of much more often; situations tend to arise with increasing frequency where, as parent, you feel older and wiser and that you might know best!
An example of this occurred recently with our eldest daughter who is 21. She had deferred her 4th and final year of a Nutrition degree, in order to work for 6 months to earn enough money to go to South America and perform voluntary work in the area of nutrition (for the remaining 6 months). She felt very strongly that she wanted to ‘give something back ‘, after years of privileged schooling and further education, and decided that the best way to
achieve this goal was to join a world-wide organisation which specialised in securing placements for young people wanting to utilise their particular training and skills in developing countries. In fact, rather than it just being voluntary work and therefore unpaid, students actually pay the organisation to find them work, and they also pay to live in the home of a local family, as this helps supplement the income of the local people, too. So, for almost the entire 6 months when she worked very long hours, 7 days a week, her focus was on the town of Cochabamba, Bolivia, where she was to work as a nutritionist in orphanages and the free medical clinics. She paid for a tutor to teach her Spanish, and everything looked signed, sealed and settled.
Two weeks before she was due to fly to Bolivia (she was already en route, touring Europe at this stage) she received an email from a chiropractor friend who lived in Lima, Peru, asking if she realised that Bolivia was on the brink of civil war, and that it could be highly dangerous for her to be there. He pointed out that in Bolivia, events can spiral out of control incredibly quickly.
Via emails and phone calls, we spent a great deal of time over the next week researching as much information as possible on the political situation in Bolivia, and relaying it to our daughter. Yes, it was very unstable, and there had already been numerous deaths resulting from political demonstrations etc. The view of the organisation with whom she was affiliated, however, was that it was safe in the particular area and town that she was destined for, and they especially wanted her to continue with her plans, as the placement was an unusually great match of skills with needs.
As parents of a beautiful blonde-haired 21 year-old-daughter, it would be dishonest of me not to acknowledge that we would have preferred her to change her plans, and not put herself in any danger. We were being asked our advice as to what she should do, and we found it a bit akin to consciously walking a tightrope – wanting to choose the secure and safe option for her (but really for ourselves, of course, because we loved her and didn’t want to see her place herself in a potentially dangerous situation so far away) and yet knowing, consciously, that she was her own person, with her own life purpose, and her own guidance system, and that ultimately it was her decision, not ours.
She decided to continue with her plans and to work in Bolivia. It is one of the poorest countries in the world, with a great deal of malnutrition, and she knew that her skills would be well utilised. This project had been her heart’s desire for a very long time now, and for her true Self, she knew she had to keep going with the flow of her life stream, with the current, not suddenly turn against it. So the dust settled, and everything moved speedily ahead again in the last few days.
Then, on the ACTUAL day that she was due to fly from London-Miami, and Miami into La Paz, American Airlines (the only airline to fly directly from outside South America into La Paz) cancelled all flights for 10 days, due to the danger and instability of the political situation.
She was devastated! We were shocked. More worried than ever. To us, it seemed the sign that she shouldn’t be going couldn’t be made any clearer than that: no flights. However, once more drawing myself back into personal alignment, and remembering Kahlil’s Gibran’s piece ‘Of Children’, my advice was for her to spend some time meditating on what was the right decision for her, and to feel for her intuitive answer from her own guidance as to what she should do. I admit to pointing out to her that one way of looking at it could be that the universe was making it very difficult for her to get there, and that she could take that as guidance if she chose. But I knew that her true freedom and empowerment would come from her personal alignment with who-she-really-is, and that, as a parent, I must practise the art of allowing her to go in the direction of her personal alignment with her own Inner Being, no matter what my misgivings or alarm.
I had been reminded many times during these intense days, of Gibran’s wisdom, and it was reading and re-reading that, plus reminding myself constantly of the teachings of Abraham (as in Abraham-Hicks)*, that enabled me to reach a space of acceptance whatever her ultimate decision….
Of Children (from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran)
“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward not tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He love the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
She has been working at an orphanage in Cochabamba, Bolivia, for almost a month now, and is living with a loving, warm family who help support her in her work, more often than not by offering a listening ear to all the difficulties and sad situations she encounters, but also by pro-active help in the most amazing of ways! But that’s another story……. as is that other aspect of conscious parenting I mentioned at the beginning of this piece. Next time…..
*Abraham-Hicks
”Parents don’t want their children to make the wrong decisions, so they don’t allow them to make the decision. And then the child becomes dependent, and then the parent resents that, and it gets off to a blameful thing early on. If you are encouraging children to do all that they can do – and not squelching the natural eagerness that is within them, so that they can shine and show you and themselves how good they are at adapting to physical experience – then everyone wins”. (dailyquote@abraham-hicks.com 31.10.08)
and
“If you encourage your children to say connected to Source Energy, they will remain clear-minded; they will remain optimistic; they will remain enthusiastic. They will remain balanced; they will remain flexible. They will remain in a state of grace. They will remain in a state of Well-Being. And they will make wonderful choices.” (dailyquote@abraham-hicks.com (24.10.08)
Kate’s website: www.magicofallowing.com
“Living Liberation - Meditation Training, and so much more" "It changed my life"Find out more
