Non Violent Communication
November 10, 2008 by Maria
I am wanting to begin by introducing myself…………. My name is Maria and I live on an island in the Pacific. I have a beautiful daughter who will turn four in January. I was born in Africa and have traveled to over 40 countries. I left home at 17 and recently have been in a period of life looking back. The thing that brings me the most peace, joy and ease in my life is Non Violent Communication. NVC is the work of Marshall Rosenberg. I started studying it almost four years ago and have come through challenging situations in my life in ways I never dreamed possible. I think out habitual responses in situations that cause pain and discomfort that are learned and very hard to change. We tend to reacts to disappointments, setbacks and other perceived negative situations with a reactionary response that does not usually serve the individual or those around. Non Violent Communication is a way to take a breath, get some space and then move forward in a conscious response to the moment. Ahhhhhhhh space in the moment, not a habitual reaction……..Yes!! Possible, I have learnt that with commitment and dedication it is possible.
In this post I would like to offer a quick exercise that may be applicable with anyone in your life. I am going to apply the explanation to my daughter. Time………. we can move it around and go back now and remember a time when your child (or other) was so precious to you that your heart melts, and deep love and joy is flooding it with feeling a real connection. Capture this snapshot and imprint it in your mind, heart and consciousness. When your child (or other) is really bringing up anger, sadness, frustration, hurt etc……………. I invite you in that moment to close your eyes and realize you have a CHOICE in how to proceed, how to respond……………. Bring up in your mind that snapshot of your precious child, this wonderful being and hold and feel the snapshot in your minds eye. Remembering how precious this little being is connects you with the deepest truth of who they are, an dyour relationship with them. Remembering them this way creates a space in which you can let go off your habitual response to the challenge of the moment and create a place of connection and empathy with the person
Try this exercise and see if it can help you to take that moment before your habitual response kicks in and more harm is done to both of you.
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